I know I sound harsh. I know my words sting.
And I see the way you flinch when I arrive.
But please believe me – I never set out to wound you.
I only ever wanted to keep you safe and do it the only way I know how.
When you were small and the world felt so uncertain, I stepped forward and swore to protect you at all costs.
I thought if I could keep you perfect…
If I could keep you quiet…
If I could make you invisible…
Then maybe you dodge the pain of rejection.
The ache of disappointment.
The terror of being unloved.
So I became sharp.
Demanding.
Relentless.
I tried to warn you of your shortcomings before others could use you against you.
What I meant beneath every harsh word is this:
“Please don’t get hurt again. I can’t bear to watch you suffer.”
But the truth is, I am weary.
I have been standing guard for so long.
And i need you to know something I’ve never said out loud:
“I never hated you. Not once.”
Even in my sternest moments, love was always at the root.
Anxious, clumsy, desperate love.
I was never your enemy.
I was just the frightened part of you who wanted more than anything to keep you alive, whole, and safe.
I’m doing my best, Your Inner Critic
Befriending protector parts
In TIST (Trauma-Informed Stabilization Treatment), we talk about “protector parts.”
These are the parts of you that stepped in to help you survive difficult times.
Maybe they show up as self-criticism, shutting down, anger, or people-pleasing.
Even if they feel heavy or painful, their intention is always to keep you safe.
When we begin to listen to these parts with kindness, they no longer have to fight so hard – and that opens the door to more ease, connection, and healing.